(posted in dubious celebration of Intenational Arthritis Awareness Day)

I am a junkie
I realize
as I draw the methotrexate into the syringe.
as fear grips my heart at the idea that
I won’t be able to get my drugs
as I push the air and ensuing drop
of the Etanercept
off the end of the needle

I am a junkie
I don’t get high
from my drugs of “choice”
I get nauseous
A headache
itchy and bruised
balding
and every time hopeful
That this time my fix
will chase away the swelly pain.

I am a junkie
An RA Junkie
hear my song
I live
from injection to injection
from week to week
The hope of “remission”
an elusive dream