Humiliation

A moment on the lips
They say
A lifetime on the hips
And yet
What do they know
Calories can be worked off
Pounds indeed get shed
But there are moments
Other moments so real and clear
Moments when words
Leave the lips of others
And hit you in the heart
Those moments never leave
Never dull
Never quite
Get worked off
Indeed
Despite the passage of time and space
Despite heartfelt apologies
Complete with the ridicule that you remember
Imagined very real and painful
Slights
Screams
Curses
Abuse
Moments when the shame
And humiliation
Eat so deep into your soul
That no amount
Of love and forgiveness
Ever quite erase
Hours
Years
Decades later
The leave a lasting taste
Bitter and cold
In the heart and the soul
I’m sorry I don’t matter
I’m sorry I’m not good enough
Bitch
Worthless
Stupid wasteful monster I created
The “c” word all that’s left unsaid
And worse
The look
In the eyes
Of a friend
Who witnessed

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