loneliness

Loneliness

/ alicorndreams / Leave a comment

snow

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wrapped in my shawl
and fear
and regrets
I sit
alone
with my thoughts
thoughts
regrets
like so many snowflakes
tiny in themselves
yet
they pile
one upon the other
until
at last
they tumble and crumble
and crush everything
with their inconsequential weight
who knew
that one little regret
one thing
that should have meant
nothing
would add up
to crush
everything

the cold
sucks all of the
hope
will
dreams
until everything
is leached away
when even the memories
or warm sun
on smiling faces
fades into shades
of cold hard white

and all I can do
is sit in the quiet
in the dark
alone
empty
and regret.

You Don’t Know Me

/ alicorndreams / Leave a comment

In the cold dark emptiness
I answer your call
Stupid of me, I know
to hold out hope
that the call
just might
accidentally
be because it matters enough to talk to me
Or because you wanted
in your ineffectual way
to make me feel like you care
No
again reality rings in the darkness
You need
I jump?
yeah, right…
you are wonderful
I ooh and ahh
in all the right places
you are ever so excited
about you
you don’t know me
you don’t even hear
I tell you the realities
and you
ever being you
have your canned answers
that don’t apply
and back to the purpose of the call
You are you
and you are wonderful
and you need me to do
this one eensie thing

and I
always an afterthought
bring up the
horse shit shoveling
ass end

Night

/ alicorndreams / Leave a comment

Green is as sharp and bitter
as the taste
And crunch
of a stink bug
Buried deep in the smooth
Sweetness
Of warm fresh blackberries
Covered in the crunch
Of Kelly Road dirt
It smells faintly
Of Queen Anne’s Lace
Skinned knees
And horse shit
It is as cold
As the stones
In the bottom of the spring
As hot and sweet
as the mows of hay
As unbelievably loud
As the spring
In Hamilton’s woods
And as silent
As the peepy frogs
In the pond
Below Helen’s

gray

/ alicorndreams / Leave a comment

Through the cloud shrouded
nearly dawn
I creep
solitary and lonely
silent and alone
In the cold gray world
colorless colors blend
invisibility becomes me
and in turn
I become invisible.

Vicarious

/ alicorndreams / 1 Comment

I live my life
from the sidelines
Little wallflower
standing in the corner
watching everyone
party and enjoy

Longing to be a part
but living happily
apart

Long before
the lights are out and party’s over
I slink from the room
avoiding even the casual contact
of the up-bound elevator
opting instead
for the solitude and exercise
of the nine floor stair climb.