The Moment

I cry
that which is in the moment
is but for a moment
and the moment
is gone

I cry
the tears I shed
were never shed
when they should have been
and not because
in the shedding
comes the understanding

I cry
the passing
of the seasons
from one’s season
to the next
and I fear
that in the passing
the passing too will be gone

I cry
all of those
who have cried before me
for all of the reasons
Here now I cry
and wrap around me
all of the tears
that all of humanity
has ever left unshed.


I will not cry
the mantra I sing
I will not cry
through eyes that sting
I will not cry
the sentiment sage
I will not cry
as tears wet the page
I will not cry
Because I am strong
I will not cry
a meaningless song


I paint this face
This visage of mine
The brush I use
The bristles fine
To cover all that is exposed
The paint to hide
The fear and pain
I use bright colorful thick
And untrue
To hide the me
No one wants to see
Beneath the facade
I hide
Smiles and laughter I bring
But I bring it not
For the me I see
But for the joy and laughter
Everyone gets
From the tears of a clown


My eyes
they shine
don’t see
pain in mine
tear tracks dry
how can you know
the pain my eyes
continue to see
when I let down my guard
and let them close

Slender wrists
long fingers peek
from White lace sleeves
don’t see
the row
after row
of neat white
parallel lines
the pain
oozed out
red and hot

Slinky dress
rides on curves
that aren’t really there
don’t see
the days
that pass
where food
won’t touch
my presence
for fear of loosing

I walk
tall and straight
don’t see
that I won’t meet
your eyes
my smile
stiff and painted
never reaches
my eyes
my heart
a front
to hide
the voices
in my brain
telling me how

See me
please don’t really
totally see me
don’t see
the pain
heart ache
that sufficiency
and security
and …

Fear and pain
keep me hiding
behind the painted world
I show
most of the world
if I show you
the me that I am
I am afraid
that you will
toss me out
with the preceptions
and I will be

I long
to reach out
to trust
to know
the ease of
just one
friend who
will see